If you've read my site with any sort of regularity, you know that I have struggled with depression for a long time. A while back I was mulling over the idea of going back into therapy, something I hadn't done since I was in high school.

Almost a year ago I started seeing a therapist. Being in therapy and discussing my problems with an impartial ear has been very helpful, but I began to wonder if there might be other ways to get out of the emotional slump I spent most of my time in. I discussed antidepressants with my shrink, and she said they might help. I went home that night and looked for information on what drugs are available these days. Aside from Prozac, there are so many antidepressants marketed today I wonder how the doctors know the difference between them. My main concern when reading up on these drugs was side effects. Two of the main side effects for a lot of these pills were loss of libido and weight gain. I'm sorry, but I might actually get more depressed if I experienced these side effects. I have since found out that lots of people change their prescriptions to rid them selves of these unwanted symptoms. Some simply stop taking their meds. I've always been wary of antidepressants in general, because I had this idea that they would make me feel weird...not like my self. I suppose that's the point, if you are depressed all the time it would be nice to not feel that way. But there are still those side effects.

During my search something kept popping up -- something called SAM-e. I did some research on SAM-e and found that it is a dietary supplement sold in tablet form. It's a naturally occurring substance that the human body produces. It has been used through out Europe for over twenty years as a treatment for depression. In some countries (Germany and Italy being two) you need a prescription to get SAM-e, but here in the U.S. it's available over the counter at vitamin and drug stores. What i was reading about this wonder supplement was intriguing. Over 75 clinical studies have been done on SAM-e throughout the world. It consistently works as well as and sometimes better than most of the prescription antidepressants available today. And there are no adverse side effects. Sounds too good to be true, right? I thought so, so I bought a book about SAM-e and read up on it. Unlike prescription antidepressants, the effects of SAM-e can be seen in about a week. So I went to the store and bought some. I tried it. I was very skeptical, but I figured I'd give it a shot. My verdict? SAM-e works. I feel a lot better now. In recent months I've been really stressed out and unhappy. While I wasn't thinking suicidal thoughts, I was hoping that I'd get hit by a car and end up in the hospital just so someone would take care of me. I thought that a lot. I hoped some accident would occur to require bed rest and nursing. I no longer think about that. My life still isn't fabulous, I'm not running around smiling and giggling like some wound up nitrous addict, but I feel pretty good. And that's good enough for me.