You know summer is coming when the ice cream trucks come out of hibernation. They creep slowly down the street, annoying circus-like music blaring, hawking soft-serve ice cream treats and red white and blue rocket pops and mighty morphin power ranger shaped ice cream bars to all the kiddies. Lethargic, suburban assault vehicles, conquering moms' change purses all across the land.

In Manhattan the big thing is Mister Softee, soft-serve ice cream confections that come in chocolate or vanilla with an array of toppings from rainbow sprinkles to cookie crunch to chopped peanuts. And flavor choices rise exponentionally when you take into account the chocolate/vanilla swirl cone! mmmmmm.....There's one every other block down 6th Ave. What a delight! I like to get a chocolate cone with chocolate sprinkles. I know what you're thinking, how boring, but I beg to differ! Chocolate is perhaps the closest my mouth will ever get to having an orgasm (er, that sounds bad, but you get the picture, right?) And the sprinkles, well, I consider them a challenge. Especially when it's a really hot day. The object of the game is to lick off all of the sprinkles before any of the ice cream melts on to you hand. It's a hard feat to accomplish, but a satisfying one, none the less. And so yummy!

And I always get a cone. Sure, cups are easier and less of a mess, but there's something very powerful about wielding a soft ice cream cone through the sweltering lunch time city streets. It's daring. It's sexy. There is not one guy out there who won't tell you it's exciting to see a pretty girl eating an ice cream cone. Go figure, eh? Yeah, it's the ultimate tease: to walk down the block, in a sundress and sandals, licking an ice cream cone. It's one small, fun way a girl can wield her sexual power over unsuspecting business men and random bike messengers.

Yes. I'm horrible. I know. But it's so fun, and tasty too!